I saw my ex yesterday. With her new partner. Who is a man. With a penis and everything i'm assuming.

I probably never would have seen them had he not approached me to ask for an autograph (he thought I was my sister - she's in a band and fairly well known (don't ask, i'm not allowed to tell). She tried to steer him away of course.

Obviously she'd never told him about her Big Gay Lesbian Past, and I refrained from doing so. But it was really hard not to laugh in her face.

Ivory (that shall hence forth be my twin's online name) reckons that the only reason Fake Lesbian was going out with me was because she wanted to feel loved. Then I pointed out that FL is the one who stole me from my last girlfriend and is obviously a whore. Then Ivory pointed out that I used to steal a lot of her boyfriends just because I could (and wanted to prove they couldn't tell us apart) and I had no right to call anyone a whore. Even if FL is one.

Sometimes I think i'd be better off living as that weird lady with the cats.

It dawned on my today that studying English Language probably isn’t a good thing for me. For example:

1,  Yesterday I saw a man who looked exactly like Schuldig (except, you know, human) and I immediately started calling him Schwa, and because Schuldig is German I started thinking about Glottal Stops, because Germans use a lot of them. It didn’t even register in my mind that he was hot until he’d gone.

2, When a friend said she wanted to buy Timberlake’s album ‘The Way I Are’ I complained loudly and for a long time about how it was grammatically incorrect and what is the world coming to if people don’t speak properly? etc.

3, When reading I immediately look for verbs and then see which of the 6 types it is, and generally break the sentence up and syntactically analyse EVERY SINGLE WORD. This is not my idea of fun. I may never read a book/fic for enjoyment ever again.

Alas, it pains me that I have another two years of this.